Your life seems perfect. Everything goes as planned. Everything is on track. You’re happy and contented. You are very sure of yourself. Very sure you are going to made it in life. Confetti keeps falling from the sky. Roses are placed on your feet. Smiling people all around you. Pats on your back. You keep congratulating yourself. Well done. Everything should be fine. You’re ok. Well done.
Then, in split second, your perfect life changes. In a nick of time. Just like that.
You world turns dark. You are grasping for air. You can’t breathe. Your body feels heavy. Your vision gets blurry. Your whole life flashes by. The glory, the success, the overwhelming feeling of greatness, all of it seems to fade away.
It all started with one mistake. For one moment you were lost. You no longer care about anything. Words of wisdom slowly being drained out from your mind. You just don’t care. You feel tired of making everyone happy. You were trying to get away from your mundane life. You don’t want to be the warm centre of the universe. You hate the light. You no longer crave for attention. You just want to be you. But you might not be the best role model. You started with one mistake. One mistake. A momentum of bad luck will soon follow.
The stages of dying begin. The heart stops. The skin gets tight and grey in color. All the muscles relax. The bladder and bowels empty. The body's temperature will drop 1.5 degrees F. per hour. Your soul has left your body. Emptiness creeps in. You are now lifeless. The stage of Pallor Mortis is complete.
30 minutes have passed. Algor Mortis, the reduction of the body temperature due to death, has long started. The skin now gets purple and waxy. The lips, finger and toe nails fade to a pale color or turn white as the blood leaves. Blood pools at the lowest parts of the body leaving a dark purple-black stain called lividity. The hands and feet turn blue. The eyes start to sink into the skull. Blood then settled in the lower portion of the body, causing a purplish red discoloration of the skin. The stage of Livor Mortis is complete.
You start a new phase in your life. You thought your nightmare was over. You thought that light will be shed into your life again. Things will become better. You are sure of this, because you force yourself to believe you. Another mistake was done there. But you still believe. You want to believe. You are so ahead of yourself. You repel others advice, hearing only yours. Others don’t matter. This is your life. You should be the skipper. You haven’t realize your wrong. Dead wrong. You left one eye close shut. You comfort yourself, saying that you are on the right path. You will change. You lie.
It’s been 4 hours since you took your last breath. The purpling of the skin and pooling of blood continue. Your muscles and limbs begins to tighten and become stiff. Then, after a while, it will reverse and the body will return to a limp state. Rigor Mortis is complete.
Your life is still not on course. You have strayed too far now. Too far from its intended target. Like an arrow that never made it to the target board. Like a train that never arrived at the station. You are still wondering; what is wrong? You are really pissed off by now. The blame game starts. You blame your parents for putting too much pressure on you. For putting too much limelight on you. For wanting too much from you. More than you can ever deliver. You blame your friends for misleading you. For being a bad role model for you. For educating you on some bad stuff. You blame the society for creating such a fucked up world for you. For setting the bar too high for you to reach. For creating such unnecessary rules. For being too judgmental. You put the blame on almost everyone. Everyone but yourself. You wanted the world to change for you and not the other way around. You hate everything around you. You done nothing wrong. It’s the world that sucks. Not you. You are blinded by your own thoughts.
24 hours has now passed. The body is now the temperature of the surrounding environment. The head and neck are now a greenish-blue color. The greenish-blue color continues to spread to the rest of the body. There is the strong smell of rotting meat. The face of the person is essentially no longer recognizable. Decomposition and skeletonization will soon spring into action.
You open your eyes. And all you can see is darkness. Total darkness. You can’t even see your hands. Not even the silhouette. The darkness seems to reflect your emotion. In total blank. Your mind went blank. No signs of anything. And you know you are descending. You are falling in this dark space, slowly. You can’t think of anything. No emotions. No intelligent thoughts. No nothing. You keep falling. There seems to be no bottom. You can’t see the bottom. You don’t know where this ends. Pitch black. As dark as your mind. You are thinking, for how long should I fall? Is this going to take forever? Am I going to fall forever? Stuck in this place? Don’t I have a perfect life before? Do I really want to keep on falling? Is this my life? Do I really want this? Is this the life I wanted?
An epiphany. A revelation. A will power. A hunger to strive. A need to succeed. A goal.
A deep look into your potentials.
Self-believe.
Determinations.
The world has yet to see the best of you.
Don’t let them wait any longer.
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